Forcing myself to eat a box of stuffing (440cal on top of the 350 I had earlier at work) because I can feel my body slowing down and I’m so tired and my limbs aren’t moving properly I’m just so tired and I don’t want to eat I feel sick and scared.
I want to be healthy
I want to have energy
I want to be free to choose
Not to be a slave
I want to be able to keep my job
I want to be able to pay my share
I want to live a longer life
Than I am weaning myself off on
I’m holding on still
But my grip is failing
I don’t want to travel this path
I want us in another reality
- Lisa Marie Carrick
Jaw clenched- Lisa Marie Carrick
Bone against bone
With winter air
Vertebrae and metal
Jerk and catch
At your funeral
Things will be different
I will feel so good
I’ll pass out cigars
Bring a big ol’ cake
And a keg, yes!
I can hardly wait
Endless List Of Albums I Like
Pinhead Gunpowder’s Goodbye Ellston Avenue (1997)
Whatever happened to yours truly?
Now I’m so spun, so high strung that I can’t even sleep.
I just lie in bed awake grinding down my teeth.
Get back up to go back out and walk the same old streets.
Always searching, something missing, never satisfied…
Drowning my sorrows in vegetable broth
So that I only feel love and a warm belly
And then maybe I will go to sleep
Today has been a day full of “selfies” and boredom and anxiety
Come and get me, thursday.
"Anorexia is a lifestyle, not a disease"
"Uh durr no it’s a disease not a lifestyle"
Actually no it’s both so shut up.
But yeah did I mention that my lobes are stretched to 3/4ths of an inch? Only a quarter more to go until my goal size.